Meat...and an Earworm

I'm something of a fan of LoadingReadyRun, a collective of young British-Columbians who serve up weekly doses of home-grown sketch comedy. One of their quasi-regular features is Man Cooking, which I can only assume is a response to the proliferation of such fleshy horrors as the Bacon Explosion and the ubiquitous Turducken.

Their most recent installment of Man Cooking, which I find myself powerless to stop watching, is the fascinating, troubling Swiss Meat Roll:



Astute viewers might catch a reference to the capture of the Brain Bug in Paul Verhoeven's confusingly kick-ass film adaptation of Heinlein's Starship Troopers (featuring the awesome, awesome Neil Patrick Harris as apparently some sort of telepathic SS officer--did I just Godwin myself?).

This association has, unfortunately, managed to trigger my tendency to get the worst possible song stuck in my head. In this instance:



From meat, to space-bugs, to NPH, to virulently insane ex-wives of Andrew Lloyd Webber. My journey is complete.

...And now I'm craving bacon. Hoist by my own petard.

Ken ye well yon Couch of Flesh

(Reprinted from my own email. If you don't like it, tough. I think warning people about this couch is a vital public service.)

Observe:



This is the couch in my boss's office.

I'm sure that, at one time in its long and unpleasant life, this couch might actually have resembled something that a person with taste in furniture might own. The pinkish hue of its leathery flanks may once have been a more vibrant, rich color, before time, multiple butt-landings, and unaccountable scuff marks dimmed its lustre. Its cushions might have been of a more angular shape, not so squashed-down and shapeless, resembling something a surgeon might look at quizzically before passing off to his assistant for disposal. In short--this couch might at one time have looked a lot less like an abused liver with a throw pillow on one end.

I try to avoid sitting on the couch whenever I'm in the boss's office; but sometimes, when there are a lot of people in there for meetings, it's unavoidable. And on one or two of those occasions, I would swear I've felt the couch move.